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“Fellow
Patriots and real Americans . . . Greetings and Salutations.” “It
is truly grand to see you once again. I apologize for my extended hiatus. The past year has been devoted to caring for my
84 year old mother who was battling a deadly cancer. She put up a valiant fight but sadly passed away on December 17th.” “Birth,
life, and death is the cycle we all face. The real tragedy over the past year is the shameful quagmire our beloved country
has spiraled into by the cold hand of ineptitude. A charlatan with deep Marxist roots ascended to the Oval Office. The charlatan
has an agenda and it isn’t in the best interests of the people.” “Our
mission is to expose the misleading notion of Liberalism. Our weapon is truth and our delivery system is the keyboard. We’re
locked and loaded, or another way of putting it . . . we’re LOCKED-ON.” “Once
again we have secured the services of our National Bird to serve as our guide and we have added a new investigator affectionately
known as the Memphis Belle.” “Okay
Bone . . . you’re on.”
“Thanks
Gunner. It’s great to be back.” “Folks between now and the Mid-Term Election we will be presenting facts about Barack
Hussein Obama, exposing his party and his radical thugs while explaining how you see it and how you don’t. Meaning
how you are led to believe things as they spin it and how things really are.”
“Let
us commence to proceed. We’ll start with something simple, something that all of you know about, Obama’s Cash for Clunkers.”
(How we’re supposed to see it)
"I want to thank the United States Senate for acting in a bipartisan way to use Recovery
Act funds to extend the ‘Cash for Clunkers’ program. Now, more American consumers will have the chance to purchase
newer, more fuel efficient cars and the American economy will continue to get a much-needed boost. ‘Cash for Clunkers’
has been a proven success: the initial transactions are generating a more than 50% increase in fuel economy; they are generating
$700 to $1000 in annual savings for consumers in reduced gas costs alone; and they are getting the oldest, dirtiest and most
air polluting trucks and SUVs off the road for good. Businesses across the country – from small auto dealerships and
suppliers to large auto manufacturers – are putting people back to work as a result of this program. I want to thank
Leader Reid and the members of the Senate who moved quickly to extend a program that benefits our recovery and our auto industry
while reducing our economy’s dependence on oil."
“Well
there ya have it. The Cash for Clunkers program was a resounding success. The President said so!”
“Obama be duh man!”
“Let’s
talk about the numbers shall we. I can’t think of anyone better qualified to talk about numbers than Abigail Beecher
our History Teacher. Abby you have the floor”
“Thank
you sweetie . . . don’t cha just love that name . . . Bone!” “Hi
kiddies, especially those of you of the masculine pulsation . . . uh I mean persuasion.” “I
love numbers, some more than others. Recently I went deep undercover, and I mean deep under the covers, to get to the
bottom of this Cash for Clunkers thing-a-muh-jig. I hooked up with Mr. Rob N. Cheetum, the same guy that sold me my XKE. What
I found out knocked the peewaddlinpookie out of me.”
“Hold
on Hot Pants . . . I don’t mean to be rude but I don’t think our audience really views you as being credible.” you as being credible.”
“I
won’t debate you on that point but perhaps if a real mathematician were to present your findings it would make a greater
impact on these good people. Albert honey would you be so kind?”
“But
of course my dear.” “Mien
Gott! Did you see the front porch on Abigail?” “Folks
this is a true fact. I was always enamored by large breasts. In fact I became infatuated with my cousin who had very large
boobs, so much so that I divorced my wife and married my cousin. It is very exciting to have intimacies with someone you are
related to. In fact it was the foundation of one of my theories.” “The
Theory of Relative Tittie.”
“That
being said let’s turn our attention to Clunker Mathematics.” “The
National Automobile Dealer Association says that the average person drives 12,000 miles a year. If you have a clunker that
averages 15 miles per gallon of gas and you drive 12,000 miles you use 800 gallons of gas.” “So
along comes Obama with Cash for Clunkers and you trade your clunker in to get that $4500 trade
allowance and drive out with a brand new fuel efficient vehicle that gets 25 miles per gallon. Driving the same 12,000 miles
per year only uses 480 gallons per year.” "So the president is being truthful when
he says it saves the consumer $700 to $1000 dollars a year." “You
save 320 gallons per year!”
“The vehicle
had a trade-in value of around $2,000 dollars. So being able to get $4,500 on the Cash for Clunkers program sounds
like a good deal, it certainly motivated people. The president said the final tally was 700,000 gas guzzling polluting vehicles
off the street.” “On the surface
it looks like another Well Done Barry O”
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