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EDITOR’S
CORNER “Hi
everyone – thank you for visiting LOCKED-ON Magazine. This Special Issue is non-political in nature and simply produced
for fun. Therefore I am not distributing this issue to our 18,000 plus subscribers but rather sending it to my friends, fellow
veterans, and fellow bikers.” “Many
of you know that I have the great honor of being a member of the Wings of Gold Motorcycle Club ( “My
chest always swells with pride when I think about the club's achievements within our community. Such as our annual Toy Run
which draws 40,000 motorcycles. The proceeds from the Toy Run is always good for a half million dollars and thus far we have
donated 10 million to the Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital.” “Saturday
April 10th, 2010 marked the occasion of the annual South East Police Motorcycle Rodeo. Proceeds from this event
go to COPS (Concerns Of Police Survivors) – scholarships, etc., for children of police officer’s killed in the
line of duty.” “Police
departments from all over the South East region compete in rider skills aboard 800 pound machines. Wings of Gold have served
as the Official Judges for 20 years and the 2010 competition marked my 4th year as a judge.”
I
hope I have been able to provide a glimpse into the camaraderie and fellowship one feels as a member of Wings of Gold. That
being said, let’s see this year’s rodeo.
I arrived
promptly at 0730. Some of my brothers know of my predilection toward consuming Vodka and Cornflakes for breakfast
and since I was grinning like a baby in a barrel full of titties – I was told to report for testing. Just kidding. (I don’t
like cornflakes.)
One can
always count on Brother Digger being in a good mood especially when he has to get up in the wee hours of the morning
at Zero Dark Thirty. All I said
was “Good morning bro.”
The
first order of business was to set up the Chow Hall.
Proceeds
from the sale of food and drinks are donated to the C.O.P.S. Organization. (Woggers
are good people) Members of Wings Of Gold
are called WOGgers.
Its
always a beehive of activity prior to the event especially on Competitor’s Row. Riders psych themselves up for individual
competition and plan strategy for team competition.
Winning
the competition provides “Bragging Rights” for a whole year therefore each Law Enforcement agency provides
a great deal of event support.
Here’s
my hometown department. Yes kiddies I live on the Indian Reservation. My Indian name is “Man Born with Plastic Spoon
in Mouth.”
If one has
to explain the exhilaration of having an 800 pound motorcycle between your legs to a non-rider . . . they wouldn’t
understand. There is only "ONE" between the legs exhilaration that surpasses a motorcycle.
The
formation played a great rendition of
Next
came the Honor Guard. You have no idea how choked-up I got when our Flag came into view and police officers and bikers alike
came to attention, placed their hands over their hearts or saluted. They remained in that position while we recited the Pledge
of Allegiance. My eyes became moist when emphasis was placed on the phrase “one nation . . . UNDER GOD!”
The
woman in the white top wearing shades sang our National Anthem. We all maintained the position of respect to our nation and
flag as she vocalized our anthem. Cops and bikers are loyal and patriotic Americans. In fact our Wings Of Gold emblem prominently
displays our flag.
Here’s
a photo of the memorial service for the 13 people shot to death by Muslim Army Major Nidal Hasan at And then
notice the Charlatan in Chief . . . he’s playing with his pecker.
. . . and it isn’t Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s debut at disrespecting
our flag or National Anthem. This photo was taken during the campaign. During the playing of the anthem Governor Richardson
and Hillary Clinton and the other lady had their hands placed over their hearts. Obama was playing with his pecker again.
This is a still photo taken from an ABC News crew video. During the entire anthem, not once did the charlatan’s hand
move away from his groin.
EDITOR’S
NOTE: My friends
please excuse my small diversion into the political arena. I spent virtually all of my adult life serving my country missing
more holidays with my family than I care to remember. Concepts like duty and honor are indelibly embedded. To see this shyster
flagrantly disrespecting our flag pains me to the core of my soul. The only word that fits is despicable. LOCKED-ON
Magazine has but one mission - distribute the truth to the people enabling them to make an informed decision in
the voting booth. By the way,
the reason I used a white frame around the Obama photos is because it happens to be the color of the only flag liberal-socialists
will unite behind. Back to
the rodeo.
Hey
fellas . . . don't you agree. There’s something sexy about a “Crack” Troop (on the right) in uniform carrying
a Chrome Plated M1 Garand Rifle.
After the opening ceremony it was time for the rider’s
meeting. The Private in the foreground (with hands on the barricade) got hypnotized watching the flashing beacon.
(The
little officer in the center really had to take a leak bad)
Being
the kind of guy that I am . . . I couldn’t pass up a golden opportunity such as this to do something for my brother
bikers. I nonchalantly walked over to the Private and planted a subliminal hypnotic suggestion. I whispered in his ear –
“You will never never give a ticket to a biker whose bitch is riding with an open container.”
There
are two courses. Both consisting of obstacles which the rider must negotiate, one course is timed. Judges are place at strategic
points around a given obstacle and watch the rider as he or she runs through the obstacle. Simply brushing up against a cone
is a two point deduction. Putting a foot on the ground - three points. Knocking a cone over - five points. Dropping the bike
- ten point deduction. If you think its
easy - think again! This Seminole Motor
Officer is scrapping his floor boards on the ground, his fork is pegged and the vast majority of motorcyclists would dump
their bikes in an attitude such as this. But not these guys. The idea is to execute a 180 degree turn in this little bitty
circle. To win the Individual
"Mister Rodeo" title both courses must be negotiated flawlessly. About 50% of the riders do so.
This
is “Ice Pick” – Brother Ice Pick has the distinction of not only performing the above maneuver flawlessly .
. . he did it with his eyes CLOSED! Any questions as to why the Police Rodeo
Association only wants Wings Of Gold as Judges?
We boast
the finest riders in the state. It isn’t by chance. Our Vice-President puts on a members only rodeo about every two
months. Although there is a competitive spirit what we’re really doing is honing our skills and learning motorcycle
safety.
Under
Greg’s tutelage and the watch full eye of our Road Captain’s (safety officers) we have a phenomenal safety record.
Think of 60 to 80 motorcycles in a two row pack running at 75 mph on I-95 with just a few feet separating each bike. Make
no mistake, our female riders are equal in every aspect and possess the same skills as our male riders. In fact they are highly
respected motorcyclists. Here are two of our sweethearts executing a tight 180.
Here’s
how the judging works. Each line judge is responsible for a portion of the obstacle. When the rider finishes his or her run,
the obstacle captain looks at each judge who in turn signal the captain with points deduction or if the obstacle was cleared
with a no faults signal. Mobile
judges follow each rider through the course and the captains give them the final tally for each obstacle.
Exiting
an obstacle isn’t easy either. Just a few inches between saddlebags and crash bars and the cones. It’s easy to
clip a cone and lose points.
The
Competition DISCLAIMER:
We will not impugn the integrity of the judging. Therefore since I was a judge I was unable to take photographs of the competition,
however I am posting photos of a previous competition. Photo credits to Sister Snips.
Judges
must be very diligent and watch their area like a hawk.
Of
the 112 riders in this year’s competition I only saw 3 bikes go down. All in all it was a great event. No one got hurt,
the food was good, an abundance of eye candy (scantly clad babes) were present and a terrific time was had by all. The
best yardstick to measure whether or not an event is noteworthy is to gaze toward the heavens. If you spot an airship . .
. the event is noteworthy.
"Thank you
for reading LOCKED-ON. Until next time, ride safe, check six and may God bless our troops, the Gunner
“All
right you maggots . . . listen up cuz I’m only gonna say this once. If you think you’re an American, if you think
you are a patriot . . . then get up off your ass and help us vote this major malfunctioning numb nuts out of the oval office
in 2012. Don’t forget to exercise your privilege to vote in the mid-term this year. We can take back the house and stop
this socialist insanity. We need you.” “Subscribe
to LOCKED-ON (as in target acquisition – locked on). Learn the truth about the High Crimes and Misdemeanors of Democratic
Party and Charlatan in the oval office.” Semper Fi
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