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Gondolas in Venice; Size=240 pixels wide

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This article contributed by Jane Turner.





















Here’s how the judging works. Each line judge is responsible for a portion of the obstacle. When the rider finishes his or her run, the obstacle captain looks at each judge who in turn signal the captain with points deduction or if the obstacle was cleared with a no faults signal.


Mobile judges follow each rider through the course and the captains give them the final tally for each obstacle.




Exiting an obstacle isn’t easy either. Just a few inches between saddlebags and crash bars and the cones. It’s easy to clip a cone and lose points.




Some of the mobile judges.

J.R. and Slacker

Lisa and Trash

This was my assigned obstacle. Ice Pick was my obstacle Captain. 


The Competition


DISCLAIMER: We will not impugn the integrity of the judging. Therefore since I was a judge I was unable to take photographs of the competition, however I am posting photos of a previous competition. Photo credits to Sister Snips.

This is the Double Secret "How they hanging bro" hand signal.




Judges must be very diligent and watch their area like a hawk.











Notice the Wings Of Gold trailer.


Knock just one pylon over and your chances of winning go into the dumper.


Knock two pylons over and you're toast.


Into every life a little rain must fall. Also known as the dreaded "Aw Shit!" moment.


WTF . . . there's always next year!




Of the 112 riders in this year’s competition I only saw 3 bikes go down. All in all it was a great event. No one got hurt, the food was good, an abundance of eye candy (scantly clad babes) were present and a terrific time was had by all.


The best yardstick to measure whether or not an event is noteworthy is to gaze toward the heavens. If you spot an airship . . . the event is noteworthy.









"Thank you for reading LOCKED-ON. Until next time, ride safe, check six and may God bless our troops, the United States of America and each and everyone of you."







Special Message from Gunny Hartman



“All right you maggots . . . listen up cuz I’m only gonna say this once. If you think you’re an American, if you think you are a patriot . . . then get up off your ass and help us vote this major malfunctioning numb nuts out of the oval office in 2012. Don’t forget to exercise your privilege to vote in the mid-term this year. We can take back the house and stop this socialist insanity. We need you.”


“Subscribe to LOCKED-ON (as in target acquisition – locked on). Learn the truth about the High Crimes and Misdemeanors of Democratic Party and Charlatan in the oval office.”


Semper Fi  




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